A Blog Post about My Health

In terms of illness, I get hit hard and I get hit often.

I am grateful to say I am in remission from the symptoms of a chronic inflammatory bowel disease, ulcerative colitis, but I suffer from chronic pain, fluctuating states of mental health, notable emotional sensitivity, peripheral vertigo, but most significantly, a weak immune system.

I am lucky if I can achieve 85-90% when it comes to physical wellness, and I take preventative measures to reach and maintain that 85-90%. I very often dip below that homeostasis, and live the majority of my life in a state of compromised health. It takes me a long time to climb back up to that homeostatic line of good, but not optimal, health.

This has created behavioral patterns that affect my performance at life and work and I understand that my affected performance affects others. I have an obligation to be transparent about my physical well-being because I probably have called out of more dance performances than I have actually prepared to perform, my mental focus is often shifted away from my work to my health for one or more reasons at a time, and much of my time has historically been largely consumed by managing symptoms, treating underlying conditions, or doing research on preemptive steps for improving my health.

I appreciate the accommodations and support that are extended to me and for the sake of safety, I have a responsibility to my colleagues, peers and community to be honest about the conditions I deal with on a daily basis. I am uncomfortable being the recipient of pity and sympathy is not something I wish to ask for or expect.

My primary goal is to maintain a state from which I can draw high quality effort personally, creatively and professionally. I have before, and will again, muster the energy to conjure the capacity to deliver and produce to the very best of my ability. I value mirrored transparency from my peers if my performance is not satisfactory and I will work to acquire resources and create access to an equitable opportunity for the completion of the duties and responsibilities expected of me.

Ultimately, I feel lucky to have this perspective of compromised health as it has taught me compassion and patience, two virtues I try to live by. I want to be a voice to this experience for anyone who shares in similar struggles and I want to communicate my personal belief that healing is a mindset, a lifestyle and a state of being that is worth pursuing.